In My Shopping Bag: A Well-Traveled Great Grandma

While wandering through the interwebs at 3 AM, I clicked on a link that linked me to Matches Fashion. And while browsing through Matches, it suddenly occurred to me that having a steady retirement fund, living in my deceased 3rd ex-husband's estate and playing Bingo on the beach in a kaftan might be the ideal life for me. This realization dawned on me when I added a seersucker maxi dress to my shopping bag. For the fifth time. In my groggy-late-early-morning mind, I'd like to dress like a well-traveled great grandmother. Someone too busy to send you a birthday gift in the post by your actual birthday, but kind enough to remember to send it to you a few weeks later. It's the thought that counts, honey. 

Ninety percent of what I want to wear are in dress form. Silk-satin midi's like this one, ruffle trimmed crepe ones like this or even, actually, this jacquard maxi. But then, of course, there is a gingham printed one for, I don't know, a breezy impromptu picnic day. Then, think about how cool this would look with a pair of block heels and metallic socks, right? I know, so cool. 

Then I ventured into tops. I'm definitely going to need this ruffle-trimmed satin blouse for a play or a Wake, who knows which. Or maybe this milk-chocolate colored pussybow blouse for a quick trip to a fresh fruit market. When someone compliments the shirt I shall reply, "Well thank you, it's a pussybow." Because the word is fun and you don't get to use it often. Or this oversized point-collar shirt for when I'm feeling exquisitely spicy and order the white wine instead of the red. How great would that look with a long, pleated, metallic-blend skirt and slides? I'd have them rolling over in their graves, literally and figuratively. Oh, and a sweatshirt. Oh and this mock neck. What kind of woman do you think I am. A mock neck is essential.

Comfort is key. That's my motto. How does one expect to parade around town when I keep on tripping over my own feet? These carnation-print satin heels frame these hooves just right. I feel these in my 64+ soul, sensible and elegant, like myself. They're certainly too wonderful for an old folks home and besides, my grandchildren get postcards (a lost art) after I've already moved to a different area. They won't track me down in those, or these.

Oh, clothes. You keep me old in the best way possible.