Hey girl, wanna feel my sweater? Know what that's made of? Model material.
Are you a beaver, cause dam!
Do you live in cornfield? Cause I'm stalking you!
Even the sun is jealous of the way you shine.
You must be the square root of two cause I feel irrational around you.
Okay, forget it. Nevermind. Ignore all of that.
Happy birthday Naomi Campbell, you badass! You've paved the way for so many models, not only black but also super. We appreciate your outbursts, your beauty, your acting skills and your bewildering ability to remain ageless. (How old are you, 28?) Not only have you dated the most pristine of men, you managed to fall in a pair of Vivienne Westwood heels and get them displayed at a museum. Not to mention, your charitable work fighting poverty and Aids.
Basically, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple.
So enjoy your birthday. Have your cake and eat it too.
And for my readers, feast your eyes upon a slideshow.