January is always about a detox. While your prior resolutions to morph your body into a smaller, toner one might not be going as planned due to life and it's needs, you can still cleanse yourself of negative influences, guilty pleasures and reoccurring, unnecessary feelings. Social media is a great place to start. For the sake of starting 2016 with a clean palette, it's time to reassess the ass's in your life and unfollow these five people.
(With GIF's to match)
(With GIF's to match)
Everyone has one. Your mother, your grandpa, your lawn lady. The inevitable surge of pre-existing emotions bubbles up into your throat when a photo pops up haphazardly on your timeline, just as you find that bulldog puppy video you've been searching for (It took a full thirty minutes) The nostalgia is dangerous. The memories are haunting. It doesn't matter who-did-what wrong in the terminated relationship, it's over. It's done. Don't dwell on the past. Everything that ends ends for a reason.
2. Your current partners Ex
She's either way too pretty or the complete opposite of you. How could he like both? Is she dating anyone? Why does she still have photos of them up from TWO years ago? Are those her natural eyes? They have to be contacts. Oh, they are definitely contacts. Is her butt that big? I hope she has cellulite. She bet she has cellulite. Oh, I'm skipping over the bikini pictures. Photoshopped abs. She dresses like a skank. Even though that dress is kind of cute in a lame sort of way. Why am I creeping on her? Think about it. If you ask yourself these questions more than once a week, it's time for your to delete her. Actually, for your sanity, you should have never added her. SHOW NO MERCY.
3. The once upon a mistake BFF
It was the best of times.
It was the worst of times.
Dancing until 5 am on bar tables, holding hands, sleepovers every single night, laughing until you peed (just a little bit) whispering about secret kisses, plotting beach trips to never go on them, driving through the city with the windows down during the hottest of summers. It sounds like a movie or a romance novel. But instead, it was a friendship. However you met, you became friends quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. And for whatever reason, it ended on a bad note when you came to learn of their true selves. We all have a friendship love story that resulted in disaster and sour feelings. I recently had to unfollow and block a previous OUAMB. And while you're at it, delete all the photos off your iPhone and facebook albums. Ain't nobody got time for that.
4. The Love to Hate you
I've been guilty of this in the past. It's an addicting issue, checking the social media accounts of someone you kind of want to hit but also seem to obsess over. Try to cut back on the number of times you check up on them. Six times a day. Three times a week. Six times a year. Then internally agree to stop screenshotting Instagram photos to send to your friends and rant about the obvious lack of photoshopping skills. Concealing nasty feelings toward someone isn't right. So ask yourself this. Why am I hating so hard, yo?
5. The 'Basically a stranger'
This title speaks for itself. You met in high school, maybe had a few classes together. There are two photos tops of you even existing in the same realm online. BUT, you do not talk. You are not friends. You don't know their middle name or if they graduated college or not. The only similarity between you two is that you went to the same school five years ago and dated the same guy ten years ago. If you can call passing folded love notes in sixth-grade dating. Hell, they probably won't even notice if you delete them. One less like on a status. One less "Who is this Brittany girl?" Rip off that anonymous bandaid and move on.
Have you recently cleaned out your social media accounts? Tell me about it!
No comments